Sunday, December 06, 2009

How bad can it be?

I don't know if it's the time yet for me to sum up this year...
I guess that sometimes, we can't stop ourselves from being supersitious or believe in the old's sayings..
This is definitely a bad year for me and it was already predicted for the Chinese that when your zodiac sign is  same as the year, it's a really bad year for you. This is the Ox year and I'm borned in the year of Ox. So yeah, it's a bad year.

I'm normally not so supersitious and I don't really care and will just accept whatever that is thrown to me.
God? I don't if I believe in one... Maybe sometimes, when I was just desperate for something to happen badly.. Sometimes, I don't even know to whom did I prayed to. Sometimes, I just played with my own mind, played with myself unconsciously. Am I the mastermind of all?

The beginning of the year seemed to be alright for me, till things started to turn a little different from not bad to bad and from bad to worse.. and the list goes on.
Will it stop when the year stops?
I hope so...

It's not too much to ask to be just happy, right?

However, I'm really grateful that I've made a few really great and close and true friends. I'm really really happy for that.. Apart from that, yeah, my relationship with my family has gotten better compared to few years back.
And that's it.. other than that, everything is bad. And mind you, my world is not just full of boy-girl relationships and that's not the only thing that will make me upset.
I'm really upset on how things turned up... especially my career and my $$..
It seems like the more I saved, the more I need to fork out the $$ for some unexpected things. Perhaps my friend's dad was right, it's just not the year to do some savings. Arghhh...

Many have been asking this for a long long time, "why does the closest person to you hurts you the most?"
HAhahaHaha. I wished I have the answer and the solution.
Till now, this minute, I still do not understand why and the funny thing is, I don't know why would I be hurt so much. I think I just wanna give up in talking.
It sucks.
I just feel like crying out loud for all these bullshits that are happening to me till this minute.
I tried and I almost choked and nobody is there for me....how sad.
I cried and I cried, till the moment I forgot what was I crying about and started laughing.
Life.. isn't it a funny thing?

2 comments:

kirin said...

I don't know what happened to you but, I learned our life is the same as 4 seasons: spring, summer, autumn, and winter. If 2009 was a winter time for you, then next you'll have spring. Life is a circle of good things and bad things. If you had bad things, then you'll have good things next, and vice versa. Try to look at what you've got and be thankful, and then fortune will come to you. You made good friends, your family is fine, you have a job. You're gonna be alright! Don't worry. I am not good enough to tell you things like this. I've suffered from many many things, too. But good books teach me so many things, too. ;) Don't suffer alone. You would feel better just by talking with friends. Friends are not only for good times. You can also email me if you want. :)

shaynaJo said...

hi kirin! thanks for dropping by and actually read my ever so long story.. hahha..

thanks for your advices too.. I'm getting myself to be as positive as ever now and look at the bright side of things more often. Life's too short to be sad right? =)