relationship dilemmas

We humans face an incredibly difficult dilemma that we should call it the - intimacy conflict.
It consists of 2 desires that seems to be at odds with each other.

On the one hand, we want to be in a relationship, to feel we belong, to give and receive love.

On the other hand, we want to be free, single and not controlled by another person.

We want both closeness n distance, togetherness n seperateness, love n independence.

But each desire has its own disadvantages. In a relationship, we can be hurt n are responsible to one another. Here is where we lose our seperateness. But if you want seperateness, you will have to pay the price, which is loneliness.

We have our freedom but may miss the wwarmth of love. I believe we all experience this conflict but those who have had more emotional pain in previous relationships will experience it to a greater degree.